I still have the bracelets.
As far as the perceived absurdity goes, in taking such a gifted token in childish wonder, I’m kind of glad that I was able to participate in that aspect of it. Even though the relationship lasted too long, an ultimately more resilient individual came into and out of it.
Overall, it finally proved that I wasn’t crippled from things happening as recently as 4+ years ago.
So when I kept playing with the bracelets, with their tiny metal beds*, and she gave them to me, I accepted. I understood the silent communication going on, the conveyance attempted in the midst of dialogue that was very stilted in happening. When we were both being young, there weren’t as many problems to amass. When both of us needed to be adults, however, her higher age [compared to me] didn’t really correlate, and the tension rose. Later, my patience with this finally ran out (outright, as opposed to my upfront warnings [About three of you know about this in decent detail]), and it took two times for my truncation to sustain.
But during that time, I wore those three on a daily basis.
I’m not sure if I just sweat a bit from my hands, if I do so particularly when I’m nervous, if it’s a symptom of me constantly running towards a warmer skew, or if I only notice when I’m being self-conscious/nervous (In case anyone’s wondering… I’m leaning toward the latter two, if I have to narrow it down). Needless to say, the nervousness of doing so makes me focus on it even more… this was never the relationship where I could relax, because this wasn’t the one where I ever really felt safe. Furthermore, I’m fairly active.
So, the grey metallic tone gave way to a dulled bronze hue underneath, as the corrosion of my sweat’s pH, combined with the likely chemical composition changes from my stress, ate away at the exterior. I even wore them for a couple of my solo sets, the metal-to-metal contact with my guitar strings changing my playing tone in a subtle, but noticeable way.
Like with anything that suffered any damage or changed, she was more concerned with that… the interactions with me tended to take second place. She didn’t seem particularly interested in having them back.
We’ve interacted once in real time since I broke up with her, a year ago. By comparison in this case, I haven’t been particularly concerned about whether I’ll ever give these back. I’m in no rush to throw them away, either.
*They’re the middle three in this picture, between the two strings that I picked up while in China.
